The Misadventures of Hiccup and Astrid REWRITE
by Rush Fire
Summary: Astrid and Hiccup have quite a private life together. A collection of several chapter stories and one shots about the their very active sex life
1. Urges

**AU: Hey everybody. As some know, I request a lot of stuff, some specific and some not. Yes its mostly smut. Don't judge. I finally decided to try and give it a shot myself, mainly because I think it would help me with writing my book. Anyway, yeah, mostly smut, occasional humor, little bit of plot as well. I may take requests if I like it, but please be specific in what you are looking for. I also may rewrite chapters, they will be posted as new ones.**

Stormfly stirred from her beauty sleep by mewls and the sound of ragged breathing coming from Astrid's bed. She growled in irritation.

_Ungh… Don't tell me the girl's in heat AGAIN…_ she thought. She sniffed the air and grumbled, Yep, shes probably in heat. The blue dragon shifted over to her side and tried to ignore the sounds.

_"Hiccup,"_ she heard the woman moan softly.

_Yep, shes DEFINITELY in heat._ Her human always mentioned the night fury rider whenever she was aroused. Stormfly wished her rider would just ask the male she had riding her mind to mate her already and calm her down. Mainly because these late night horny streaks was causing deprivation of her precious sleep, and the bloodshot eyes she recently noticed in her reflection was making her rather self conscious. It made her prefer sleeping outside.

On the other side of the room, Astrid was currently savoring her favorite fantasy.

_Hiccup lie on their wedding bed, his hands bound the headboard and his ankles to the posts at the foot of the bed. Heavily drugged with dragon grade hormones, his member stood at full attention for Astrid's viewing pleasure._

Astrid bit her lip and held back another moan. Ending her self stimulation with her fingers, she took the large marble tool from her lower drawer from her nightstand and settled it between her legs. She still couldn't believe she was dealing with something this big. It was almost as thick as her wrist, and she knew that with the others they would only get bigger as she moved forward with her training. She grunted as she slowly worked the tip inside, stopping when she managed to sheathe the whole six inch long tool inside her. She took a few deep breaths, clenching tightly around its smooth surface, letting her lower regions adapt to the size of the intrusion. She whimpered as she began to work it back and forth within herself, moving her hips to the rhythm of her hand.

Astrid had discovered a very "special spot" only a week into her almost-always-aroused state. Because of the length of her fingers however, she couldn't reach it without an object of some kind. But thanks to these marble tools, she could work magic that before could only be done with the totem that Hiccup had given her (which she lost). Unfortunately, It backfired, and she ended up training so often she developed a overactive sex drive. Now she was wasting entire nights of sleep trying to get a minimum of four or five orgasms when at first just one would pretty much knock her out.

_She bounced up and down on his lap, howling like a wild animal as he filled her over and over again. She watched him squirm under her, overwhelmed by the pleasure he was feeling. He let out a hoarse moan, made so by the overuse of his vocal chords, as he released inside her yet again. By now a puddle of their joined fluids had oozed into the bed furs from their repeated orgasms._

Her body trembled as her hips bucked into her hand for the eighth time that night. As her jolt of pleasure finally died and her breathing returned to normal, she reached over to her nightstand next to her bed. Using a severely abused washcloth, she cleaned her fluids off her thighs and pelvis, along with the marble dildo. Putting them back, she turned on her side to hopefully get some sleep.

Barely an hour later, she awoke to her insides burning for more attention.

Astrid grimaced,_ Damn it Hiccup, I'm going to punch you so hard for this..._

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**Next chapter: We find out why she cant stop masturbating.**

**Please review if you have suggestions/comments, or I may discontinue this.**


	2. A New Man

**1 month ago**

Astrid stood at the docks with dwindling patience. She had been pacing in the same spot for so long her knees were as sore as when she had to drag a cart with broken wheels across Berk all by herself. Her teenage friends lounged about nearby, having been invited here by Astrid.

Fishlegs was getting annoyed from the incessant patter of Astrid's footsteps. "Astrid, would you PLEASE sit down or something?" He pleaded, "That noise is making my head hurt."

Astrid examined the horizon stamping her foot in anger, "Where are they? He said they'd be back by noon today!"

Fishlegs tried using logic to calm her down, "You cant expect a chief and his son to get home at the exact time they say they will, Astrid. Especially not on trips like these." It was supposed to be some kind of father son bonding trip plus a foreign lands exploration thing. Apparently dragons had given them more trading abilities than originally anticipated. But _how long_ did they expect her to wait?

" I wonder what kind of cool stuff they'll bring back!" Ruffnut said from her spot on the edge of the dock walkway.

"Yeah," Tuffnut agreed, "Maybe they found me a cooler sister." Astrid grinned as she heard a loud splash from behind her after Ruffnut shoved him off the dock.

Soon several dots could be seen along the horizon line, slowly expanding like the excitement in Astrid's chest. Other families quickly gathered to greet their loved ones as the boats finally docked. In the crowd of taller Vikings, Astrid struggled as she tried to find her boyfriend. She managed to pick Gobber out of the sea of people, and ran toward him.

"Gobber!"

The stocky Viking turned around, his arms full of foreign trinkets and one even hanging from a horn of his helmet. " Oi, Astrid! Good to see a familiar face, eh?"

She smiled, "Good to see you too. Gobber." The girl took a quick look around the docks as people filed out with their families. "Where's Hiccup?"

Gobber turned toward the ship, "He's still gettin some things from the storage deck. He said somethin bout presents for you and your friends."

Ruffnut jumped with joy, "Awesome! Free stuff!" Tuffnut would have joined her, but he had made himself cozy bobbing in the surprisingly not so cold water.

Snotlout snorted with skepticism, "Yeah? I'll decide if its worthy of being called awesome."

While they spoke, Astrid ignored them both and boarded the ship alone, racing to the lower deck ladder.

The lower deck was rather dark, lit mainly by he outside light and a few wall hung candles. Along with its usual musty odor, it had a few new smells to it, evidence it had been picked up some things from foreign country.  
"Hiccup?" Astrid called into the darkness as she stood at the foot of the ladder.

A familiar voice called back, "Astrid? Is that you?" There was a rustling noise amongst the cargo, and she saw a familiar thin figure emerge from the boxes. As it approached her, she quickly noticed that it was too tall to be Hiccup. As the figure walked into the dim light however, she saw its undeniable face. And then the rest of its body as the light brightened. Her heart fluttered.

"Wow," Astrid said breathlessly, " You… grew."

The boy (if she could still call him that at this point) now stood over a head taller than her, and her eyes now met his collarbone. He still had his Hiccup-ish lanky build, but Astrid could see his chest and shoulders had broadened and his arms and legs had thickened greatly. He was definitely no longer a walking talking fish bone and Astrid _definitely_ liked this version of Hiccup even better than the beefy one Bucket had painted on a shield.

He grinned enthusiastically, "I know right? And check this out," he lifted up his new dark brown shirt, revealing a definitive set of abs. Astrid almost began drooling. "I have muscles! Visible ones!"

Astrid swallowed, trying to keep her composure, and chuckled, "Well, don't go turning into Snotlout on me." Crap, why did she have to have a problem conversing with this Hiccup?

"Oh, I almost forgot," He ran back into the shadows, "I got you something." As he rummaged about in the shadows, Astrid took the moment to her advantage. She puffed out her chest and straightened her back, trying to get as much emphasis on her breasts as possible. She hoped she could at least get him to stare for a few seconds. "Here it is," He said, walking back to her. Astrid gasped and what he held in his hands.

She could see a Deadly Nadder flying between the waters of berk and a sunset on the horizon line. Atop its back sat a girl with a spiked skirt, shoulder pauldrons and long flowing hair. The image extended out three dimensionally and rotated around a cone like shape. As Astrid stared, Hiccup was grinning ear to ear. "You like it? I met a sculptor who showed me some things on working with marble." Astrid took the marble piece in her hands and rotated it, admiring the perfectly smoothed surface. On the other side, previously not visible, was an image of a skinny boy riding a night fury with a artificial tail fin.

Astrid was amazed, "This is beautiful Hiccup. You made this?" He nodded

"By hand. With a chisel. And sand paper…" He trailed off. He was silenced as one of her hands ran over his cheek.

"Your amazing," she told him softly. Letting her fingers drift to his neck, she could feel goose bumps form as his face turned pink. He was way too handsome for his own good. "Which reminds me," her kind gesture of affection suddenly became a swift fist to his shoulder, "That was for leaving me here for two and a half weeks with _Snotlout_." Her knuckles quickly began throbbing in pain.

_Damn, how dense are those muscles?!_

He smirked, "Ha, and I thought you were going soft."

Before Astrid could punch him again for making her wait so long, Hiccup grabbed her by the arm and yanked her to his chest. She squeaked very un-vikingly in surprise. She looked into his eyes in shock, and then noticed his evil smile.

"But in that case," he whispered huskily, "_This_ is for waiting for me." He gripped the back of her head and forced their mouths together in one quick motion. Astrid gave in completely, dropping the marble totem and letting it hit the wooden floor with a thunk as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She extended her toes in attempt to match their heights as they attacked each others' mouths.

This was too unfair. Why did he get to become so sexy in two weeks when she only developed a little throughout the whole month? And where the hell was this… confidence coming from? The confidence that was making him work his tongue in her mouth, and her accept it without question. Not that she was complaining. She could definitely get used to tall, muscular… confident…

_Oooh._ She felt a sudden spark ignite in her core as he made sound that could only be described as a lustful growl.

**As the author was saying,** She could definitely get used to tall, muscular… confident… SEXY ASS HICCUP.

Hiccup grunted and stopped suddenly, making Astrid whimper in confusion and arousal. As their heads separated, they came to their senses as they heard large footsteps on the upper deck. Looking back at their position the couple became red with embarrassment. He removed his hand from under shirt and the other from her waist while she took hers from around his neck and the inside his new silver-grey tunic. They held the awkward silence for a moment before a voice was heard calling Hiccup's name.

He sighed in disappointment, gave Astrid a quick peck on the cheek, and then responded, "Yeah Fishlegs, I'm down here!" Looking back at Astrid, they gave each other understanding smiles before he walked up to greet the others. As she watched Hiccup leave, she examined him from behind.

_Wow! He's even got an ass like granite!_

Astrid huffed in irritation as she picked up her totem from the floor. She should have never invited the others to wait for him at the docks. Now she had an annoying need in her lower regions that Hiccup really could have helped with. She glanced at the totem in her hands. It had a very intriguing shape…

That night she had one hell of a time "breaking in" the totem.


	3. WOW

**2 weeks ago**

The prank war was confirmed to be allowed as Stoic said it would help the teens gain awareness and trapping skills. At this point was nearly over, scheduled to end at dusk on the first day of next week. Hiccup and Astrid were the only ones who hadn't been pranked by anyone successfully as the two had been looking out for one another in a boyfriend/girlfriend alliance. The two had secretly dubbed it their obliged "Lover's Trust."

Snotlout was getting desperate. The winner of the war got all his chores taken care of by the losers, AND got a gold piece from each. But all he really wanted was the bragging rights and the street credit to help him swoon the ladies. With his current state in this competition however, it seemed he just wanted to make sure his current street credit wasn't downgraded. Hiccup and Astrid would win for certain, but he was butting heads with Fishlegs for second place, and surely he could beat that loser. Right? He had to, for his reputation's sake. His pranks were getting more and more stale with each passing day, and as the remaining time for the war ticked away, he finally decided to do something he'd never do. Read a book.

Fishlegs had found a few books on prank wars, an one actually included a guide and rules. Well, rule. There was only one: "No pranks are allowed that may cause severe/permanent damage to people or property. Or dragons" The last part had been scribbled in by Hiccup.

Snotlout flipped through the pages of the guide. Too many pranks would take too long to make or were too complicated for him. He angrily flipped back to an earlier chapter. Jackpot.

Simple Pranks: Quick and easy ways to score a laugh.

If you've read the scoreboard page, you know that successfully performing a simple prank is worth one point in a prank war. If you prank the score leader with a simple prank, you get two points. Simple pranks include…

Snotlout only had to read the next three words to finish his share reading for the rest of the year. Fortunately, it was all he needed to gather the perfect plan to determine his spot in third place. He slammed the book shut and ran off to find Gobber, the war's score keeper.

Hiccup may not have been very good at wielding swords or hammers before, but now he held weapons with almost his father's capability, and it was making Astrid a little jealous. And really "abusive" of that totem he had given her. She couldn't help but feel a little obligated to give him a run for his money at something, so she went with archery. But it seemed even that turned into a lesson for her. Who would have known the mighty Astrid Hofferson would need a tutor for something like that?

With each arrow hitting far off the bulls eye, Astrid was getting red in the face. She huffed, "Hiccup, I think this bow is broken or something." She sat down on a tree stump in defeat and began examining parts of the bow as if shed magically find the key to perfect aim on it.

Hiccup was sitting on a nearby rock, sharpening the katana that was gifted to him during his travels. "Astrid, archery isn't like throwing an axe," he calmly explained, "It takes form, focus, steady hands and a light touch."

"Isn't the crossbow used to get rid of half of that?"

"Well, yeah, but because it takes so long to reload, you'll probably only get one shot before your enemies know where you are. Plus its harder to lug around." He slid the blade into its sheathe and set it down against the rock. He stood up, "Here, let me show you."

The moment couldn't have been more perfect for Snotlout. Jumping out from his hiding spot behind Hiccup's sitting rock, it took him a split second to dart over to Hiccup as he walked toward Astrid and grab the hem of his pants.

Astrid barely had a second to call Snotlout out. Hiccup's pants were around his ankle and prosthetic in an instant, and Astrid's eyes almost instinctively shot upward. If her face was red from frustration before, it would probably be crimson from embarrassment now. What she saw, or was staring at, she never expected Hiccup to have. She never knew he was… packing heat… that could substitute a dragon's fire. She'd heard rumors from some women about Stoic the Vast being… well, vast. But Hiccup? Her boyfriend? Whoa… just… **_WOW_**.

Hiccup's cry of confusion brought Astrid out of her stare. Nearly tripping, he yanked his pants back up and directed his fury at Snotlout. Wait, how long had she been staring? "Snotlout, what the hell?"

Astrid focused her fluster into rage, "Yeah, what's your problem?" It sounded a lot weaker than she hoped it would.

The brawny boy, currently holding his gut as he laughed, took a moment to catch his breath. "Extra points, that's what. I need em'. And about that," he looked to a bush by his hiding spot, "That's two points for me, right Gobber?"

As if on cue, Berk's forge master poked his head out from inside the leaves. "Aye, laddy, two points." As he freed himself from the bush, he took the scoreboard slate he had with him and worked in two more lines next to Snotlout's name with a charcoal stick. "And that puts you ahead of Fishlegs." He declared. Hiccup glared at him, and he shrugged, "Sorry Hiccup, but ya did ask me to be score keeper."

Snotlout grinned victoriously, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a wedgie to give to Tuffnut. Oh, and Astrid," his smile turned devious, "that look on your face was priceless." And with that, he ran off to the village, with Gobber close behind.

Hiccup muttered, "Looks like I picked a perfect day to get all my good skivvies washed…"

Astrid suddenly yelled after the retreating Snotlout, "Don't expect me to ever stare like that when _your_ pants are down!" Relieved from her sudden outburst, she glanced at Hiccup, who had an eyebrow raised at her. "What? I had to say something," she defended.

Hiccup gave a surprised and shy smile, "You were… staring?" he asked.

Astrid's cheeks began to burn as she tried to evaluate what she had just seen. He was indeed… very impressive. Maybe a little _too impressive_…

"Uh… I think we need to talk."

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**Next Chapter- Astrid and Hiccup have a chat about Astrid's spoiled surprise.**


	4. An Awkward Conversation

**Sorry It took so long to get out, but here is the awkward following of the previous chapter. **

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He hesitated for a moment, considering what had just happened. He figured this would go in a quite specific direction. "Oh. Um… alright, I guess. What about?"

_As if that isn't obvious._ "When exactly were you planning on telling me about your… that thing you have between your legs?"

He raised an eyebrow at her, "I thought you knew I was male, Astrid."

_Okay, now he is just screwing with me._ She sighed irritably. "You know what I mean, Hiccup."

His head cocked to the side in confusion. "What? I mean… I don't… is there something wrong with it?"

_Is he serious? There is no way hes being serious._ "Thor Hiccup, do I have to spell it out for you? You must be part _horse_ for Odin's sake!"

He was silenced for a moment, mouth opening only to release nothing. Then he scratched the back of his head meekly, "Really? I… I thought I was around average…"

_Average my ass…_ "Hiccup, that _monster_ wasn't even awake, and it was as _thick as my wrist!_ There is no way that's even close to average!"

"Okay! Okay, I get it. Im above average. Thanks for boosting my ego." Now he himself was blushing, embarassed about the whole situation. A moment passed before he finally asked, "So what about my… size advantage?"

She was quickly getting frustrated, unable to figure out a way to explain this issue without seeming... over intimidated. "Its j-just that… I didn't expect… something that intimidating to come from you." Wait a minute, did she just stutter? _Damn it woman, get it together. You are Astrid Hofferson, you do NOT stutter!_

There is no way she actually just stuttered. Astrid doesn't stutter. Especially not around this situation that bad? Did he, Hiccup of all people, actually scare her? With the body part he considers the most delicate? "Astrid, are you alright? Are you… okay with this? I mean, this doesnt change anything between us, does it?"

"Of course not!" She yelled defensively. "I just… didn't know you would be this… challenging."

He smirked, nearly laughing at the last word. "You feel challenged by me? That must be a first."

It was surprising how fast she managed to get close enough to sock his shoulder, considering how far she had been standing from him. "Shut up."

As Hiccup's wicked smile turned into a look of concern and worry, she could feel herself begin to melt on the inside. Damn it. Why does he always have to be so... _Hiccup_ all the time!

"So... What exactly are you trying to say? I mean I'm sure you didnt declare one of my blood line a horse just to compliment me right?" She sighed, slightly disappointed in what she was about to admit. "Hiccup, I love you. You know that. And I really want to marry you eventually. But I don't know if would be able to make this work… in that way. You just wouldn't… fit."

"Oh…" There was a long awkward pause. "Um… Are you… you know, absolutely sure about that? Could we like, check or something?"

The mere idea of that made her lower insides begin to melt, making her thighs rub together involuntarily. But if her mother's info was any indication, the answer to that method was probably already obvious. "Hiccup, Ive been thinking about being with you for a while. A lot. When we finally actually do it, that thing is supposed to get bigger, right?"

"Well… yes, but…"

"Well from my nights being alone in my room, I can tell you right now that if three fingers for me is noticeably big, then something of your scale is just… too much."

His mind was officially blown. "Wow… that's just…" Hiccup started, but just couldn't continue out of the sheer power of how shocked he was.

"Just what?"

"Just… amazing and upsetting at the same time. First you basically tell me I'm endowed like a bull, then tell me I'm too big, then go on to say you know that because you… practice while you think about me. This is just three big doses of mind blowing."

She laughed for a moment, before seeing his visibly depressed look as he sat back down on his rock. "Hiccup," she tried to comfort him, taking a seat next to him, "Please believe me when I say I want this to work…"

"I do, Astrid. I do, " he reassured, wrapping on arm around her waist gingerly. She grinned sympathetically, taking his other hand in her own. At least he knew she meant well. Neither of them wanted their first time together intimacy wise to be bad, but she hoped that this wouldnt determine their potential intimacy as gone.

Things went quiet again, before he finally asked, "Is there anything we can do about this? Like… would training help?"

Astrid snickered, "Training? Are you serious?"

He shrugged, "Ive thought up crazier ideas."

"True." She was glad to see him springing up ideas to try and take care of the issue so fast. She stood up and pulled him along with her."Alright, mister third arm, how do you suggest we train for something like this?" She asked enthusiastically.

He stared at her, wide eyed. "Um… what?"

"You heard me," she uttered with a wicked grin.

"Mister third arm? Really?"

"Would you rather me mention all that by calling you mister third leg? I don't think that would make sense."

_Oh, the sarcasm._ It seemed he had rubbed off on her rather well. "I love you."

He held his admring gaze about her before she asked awkwardly, "So about your training idea…"

"Oh, right... Well, I'll have to do a few things first… But… I guess I could make some… things."

Her eyes narrowed. "I have a feeling this is going to be more of me training to have some kind of final battle with you."

"I'd call it more like a... grand finale, of sorts. And if everything goes well," He struggled nervously to get the last words out, "Maybe we could have more than one?"

Her sly grin returned. "I dont know, Hiccup, could you do another battle with the Red Death?"

"Oh, come on Astrid. Im not that big."

"Whatever you say. Just try not to trip over that or let it drag, I can imagine that being painful."

He walked over the bows they had left on the ground and picked one up. "Yeah. I'll keep that in mind. Now, then, didnt you need some help with your archery?"

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**LOL Big shlong jokes all over this chapter. I intend to use a lot of urban dictionary words to spice up the hilarity in this story. Mainly used by the twins, but still, I intend to get a lot of huge dong jokes here.**


	5. Motherly Advice

**Meh, cant help but feel like this chapter Iis missing something thats not smut... not so sure, but reviews would help.**

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Astrid didn't know whether to hate Snotlout for the stunt he pulled or thank him. On one hand he did unknowingly give her a heads up about the Hiccup's third arm, which he probably still didn't know about. On the other, she hadn't stopped thinking about it since that event the previous day. She could accept that he was naturally third armed. He was Stoic's son after all. But the thing that she didnt get was how in the world something as big as that was supposed to fit inside her without causing serious damage. This wouldnt be like giving birth, she was sure, but still, wrist thick and flaccid signaled there would definitely be a problem there. Was she scared? No. Of course not. She's a Hofferson. But she certainly felt uneasy, perhaps disturbed at the concept of him actually hurting her.

The next morning came rather quickly, which was ironic considering she spent at least a third of the night waking up sweaty and panicked from unusually themed nightmares. Primarily focusing on Hiccup's massive tool utterly destroying her in unbearably painful ways.

It only made it worse when her mother had set her breakfast down in front of her. The porridge looked nice with the molasses and diced apples, but the large sausage and two oranges seemed to be staring her down.

A minute passed, and her father looked at her concerned from across the table. "Whassa matter, Astrid? Ya usually wipe yer plate clean as soon as yer mother puts it front of ya."

She glanced up from her meal, "I uh... have a lot on my mind today. I guess its messing with my appetite."

"Huh. Well I s'pose bein a top dragon riders' a lot to handle Eh?" He replied with a proud smiled.

Emphasis on a lot to handle. She tried to show some backbone and sat up a little straighter, "I'm a Hofferson. I can take care of it." She looked back down at the trio of breakfast foods and deflated at the glare they were giving her.

"Well, don't go lettin that food go to waste." Another moment passed silently, Astrid only slightly fiddling with her porridge as her eyes remained cautiously and awkwardly at the sausage.

Her father washed down his mouthful of food with a gulp of tea before asking, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Her mother returned to the table with a large pot of porridge, and took a seat next to her father. She quickly joined the interrogation, "Its not the Haddock boy, is it?"

"No," she lied, "Its..." she hesitated. Did she want to talk about it? Yes. It was rather a serious issue she didn't know how to deal with. But with her father? Probably wouldn't help the problem get solved...

"Its a bit of a feminine thing..." she lied again.

Her father took the hint instantly. "Ah, say no more. I need to meet with some of the fellas anyway, try out the new warthog traps." He kissed Ingrid on the cheek before getting up from his seat. "I'm sure your Mother can help you with whatever it is you are dealing with." With that and a quick hug to Astrid, he headed out the door, hauling a deerskin bag along with him.

With the two of them alone, Ingrid leaned forward attentively. "So, what seems to be the problem, hun?"

Astrid hesitated again, unsure if she could actually have this conversation at all. She couldn't go to Gothi about it, because that would require a translator. And she couldn't possibly get much advice from Ruffnut...

"How big would you say is too big for a woman my size?" She finally blurted out.

"Astrid, dear, believe me when I say you are very fit for your size."

"What? No mom, I know I'm not fat. I'm talking about guys."

She looked at her with a puzzled expression. "I'm not sure I get what your askin, hun. Does this have to do with Hiccup?"

She nodded.

"I thought you had gotten past him being a twig."

She sighed, "Okay, first off, he isn't a twig anymore, mom. And I'm not talking about his body... well, that part of his body..."

Ingrid's eyes brightened, thinking she had met the root of the issue. "Ah, I see. You want to know about the size situation men have about their lower prides."

"Well... No. See, there was an incident yesterday, with Snotlout, during the prank war..."

Ingrid nodded her head, following her story.

"Snotlout found a way to get more points and pantsed Hiccup."

"So I spose he wasnt wearin any skivvies."

Astrid shrugged, glancing back down at the sausage.

"So you saw his lower horn. Whats the problem?"

"Thats what my first question was about. He sorta has a... size advantage."

"Oh. Well, honey, I'm sure it cant be something to worry about...

"He was as thick as my wrist, Mom."

Ingrid's eyes widened. "Oh my, that boy is full of surprises."

"Yeah, that one really caught me off guard... so how do I deal with that?"

"Why? Is he pressuring you?"

"No! I mean... I know we will end up being married eventually. So I figured to learn how to deal with this situation before, well, you know..."

The older woman smiled wryly and humorously tried to finish her sentence, "You have a date with his Red Death?"

She nearly cringed at the memory of last nights nightmare before nodding.

"Astrid, if there is anything I've learned from your father, its that talkin things out is one of the most important things to keep a relationship going."

"We already do that. Is there anything you can tell me about when we start... going further?"

Her mother shrugged, "I spose the only tip I can offer ya for when the bed starts creakin is go easy the first few times, and use a lot of lubricant."

"Are you sure thats all there is?"

"Everything else I can tell you about men I've already told you," Ingrid glanced down at the sausage on her plate before mentioning, "And by the way, I noticed how you were looking at the food. Don't you dare try to practice that at the table. Either eat like a civilized person, or give it to me."

Needless to say, she just went with the porridge that morning.

* * *

Well so much for motherly advice…

It took her some time to figure out who to go to for help. Then the realization hit her during one of the races.

Valka! Of course! Hiccup had to get his prowess from somewhere, and who else but his father? And since she was finally around again, there was a likely source of knowledge for dealing with guys who secretly have three arms.

With Hiccup at the forge after the dragon races, she figured now was one of the best times to go for it. She ended up hesitating as she approached the front door of the Haddock home, doing a double take at what she was about to ask the chief's wife.

_Hes Stoic the Vast, come on, that name cant be just from him being the usual viking beef that you see all around Berk. And still, Valka is pretty much half his size, that had to be part of the variables..._

Variables... great, shes turning into Hiccup now.

Astrid couldn't help regret the decision to take the step of knocking on the door. However her anxiety was put at ease a little when Valka opened the door with a cheerful smile.

"Hi Astrid, the dragon races done already?"

She smiled back weakly. "Yeah, I guess the others just didnt feel like trying today."

She laughed. "Well, if you're looking for my son, he's at the forge.

"Actually, I was hoping I could talk to you," she said, glancing inside in search of Stoic, "Privately."

"Oh. Alright then..."

"Can I come in?"

She stepped aside, "Of course. Is there something wrong?"

Astrid walked inside quickly, and waited for her to shut the door before responding. "Sort of... its about Hiccup."

"Hm. I figured it was about Stormfly. You know if theres a problem with him, you should try talking to him. Hes probably one of the most cooperative men on the island."

"I know. But thats not the problem... You know we like each other right?"

"I can say he certainly likes you."

"Trust me, the feeling is very mutual. But we have a... snag in the relationship."

"Go on," she encouraged.

"Its about his body…"

She smirked, "Hm. I didnt know you two were already that close."

"No, we arent... yet. But theres a... size issue."

"Oh. Well, truthfully Astrid, Ive never thought size mattered. It isn't the size of the dragon that shows the fire it has."

"What if its a really big dragon?"

On of Valka's eyebrows lifted. "Im sorry?"

She sighed, "Hiccup has... a bit of a size advantage... like a dragon sized size advantage..."

"Hm. Seems he's more like his father than I expected."

"Thats why I came to you. I thought you could share some wise words about that, since Hiccup has to get that from someone…"

"I see. Well, dear, you may want to take a seat. You might be here for a little while."

Astrid thanked Valka again for her generous and friendly advice before leaving with a giddy smile on her face and rolled up paper in hand. She was much more excited now than she had been before their little chat, which had been promised to be confidential. She was actually looking forward to sex with Hiccup now, instead of worrying about it.

Speaking of Hiccup, he was supposed to have something for her a while before sundown, which was about now. She held her smile as she tucked the paper into her pouch and strolled off to the forge.

* * *

_Valka's tips for 3 armed men..._

_Lube is one of your new best friends. Make sure your body is ready to take him before you do, but still be sure to have some oil or lotion just in case. If neither of those are available, your saliva usually works. If he's got good stamina, get him to finish once and use the result._

_Learn to ride the dragon first. Be on top your during your first so you can control how much meat you take at a given time. And go slow. It will hurt less that way._

_Just because he's huge doesn't mean he's trained. Don't expect the first few times to last._

_Don't expect to be very good at using your mouth. You are supposed to chew your food, but not this, so you probably shouldn't be expected to stuff the whole thing in there. That doesnt mean you cant try if you want, though._

_If you two end up having an active sex life, expect to have issues with walking. And keep a clean rag handy._

This one Astrid added herself after she noticed how Valka had a noticeable wobble in her step. As for the rag, well... The oranges accompanied this mornings stare down with the sausage quite well for a reason.

_Enjoying and wanting to have sex with him (even very often) does NOT make you a whore, and don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise._

_As with any intimate relationship, communication is key. Tell him if he's doing something right or if he's hurting you, and ask him what he likes._

* * *

**Next chapter:not so sure, Im open to ideas, but; Astrid will likely enjoy some Haddock milk.**

**Also open to ideas for plot bunnies. The plot for the next is a bit vague.**


	6. Draining A Tragon

**Hi ****everybody. Just wanted to say I saw httyd 2. It... I suppose it was good... but something happened in the movie that severely contradicts my story, so I was a bit disappointed by that... maybe I will expand upon what happens after the movie when I get past Astrid and Hiccup's honeymoon and apply a more canon setting, but until then... enjoy the rest of this current one.**

* * *

Astrid's day had certainly gone from uncomfortable to rather enjoyable. First she recieved some valuable wisdom from Valka, and then was greeted with a very pleasant sight when she showed up at the forge.

Hiccup was working with one of his little inventions, covered in a thin sheen from sweat that trickled down from his damp hair and along his face and neck, almost enough to drip off his chin. His muscles were clearly defined through his shirt, now several shades darker from his perspiration, his shoulders and shoulder blades flexing as he held his focused gaze on his craft.

Astrid wouldnt have minded holding a focused gaze on _him _ for a while, but he turned just in time to see her out the door. He smiled at her before returning his eyes on his mechanism, "Hey there, milady. Still the first place dragon racer?"

She snorted, "You know it, babe." She couldnt help but keep her eyes glued to that absolutely lickable bead of sweat sliding down his cheekbone as she walked into the forge, and was blasted by a rush of hot air.

No wonder why he was so sexy..._ sweaty_. Shut up readers, she knows what she meant.

She was already beginning to break a sweat herself from the intense warmth. "Is it always this hot in here?" She asked desperately, shrugging off her thick fur hood and setting it down on a bench against the wall.

Hiccup laughed, wiping across his forehead with his sleeve, "Gobber had me test out some new fuel for the forge. I used it to melt some rocks. Apparently its got more spice than I thought."

"Rocks? What did you make?" She slid off her gloves and armored skirt, and set them over her cape. She looked around the room curiously and spotted some drawings she hadnt seen before pinned to the wall in front of him.

"Its uh... the last of the things for you."

"Oh, okay," she took a good look at his granite rear and flexing shoulders before standing next to him, examining the sketches.

Hiccup was surprised he hadn't noticed it before, but then again, he only looked at her for a second when she arrived. But as she took her place next to him, he couldn't help but notice how her chest seemed to stand out more. Did they get bigger? In one day? How in the...

His attention jumped as Astrid snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Huh?" He asked awkwardly, widened eyes locking with Astrid's angry ones.

She smiled deviously at the embarrassed look on his face. "I wanted to know what you made for me."

"Oh, right, uh... one second." He sped into the back room of the forge, making Astrid's eyes return to one interesting looking drawing near the upper part of the little collection.

The timing couldnt be more excellent. Just as he walked back into the front room, she had curiously reached up, bending over the desk against the wall to snatch the paper from the wall. Hiccup's eyes, as male as they were, drew like magnets to the round curves of her hips and rear. Her shirt rode up just enough to show the perfect tease of her lower back, creamy white only partially shadowed by the hem. He could feel his pants tighten noticing the flesh under the trousers jiggle slightly when she stood on her toes to grab the paper.

He was staring at her distracting assets with so much attention he didnt even see her turn her head towards him, "_Hiccup_,"

His eyes snapped back upwards, "Huh?"

She glared sternly at his blushing face , "I asked if these were new."

"Oh, yeah. Just new things for uh... various uses." He held a small bag out to her and smiled nervously hoping she wouldnt notice the half awake mass in his pants.

Putting down the paper, she turned to face him fully and took the bag, taking a peek inside. The lighting proved to be an issue, so she reached into it for one of the objects.

"Wait," He stood close to her and whispered, "You may wanna open that at home... in your room..."

"Why?" She felt around the bag, and grasped something long, hard, smooth with a rounded tip...

Cylindrical...

Her face burned and she felt the temperature in the room noticeably rise, "Oh...thats why."

He smiled sheepishly, "I did say I would make something to help you... you know, train, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did. Thank you," their eyes locked for a moment, their distance seeming not close enough. Astrid set the bag down on the table behind her quickly, grasping his mostly soaked collar with her free hand and yanking him down to her level. Their lips seemed to mold into each other, like a sword and sheathe,, as if they were made just for this act with each other. Permission to access each others mouths wasn't even necessary, as at this point it was more like a necessity to mix salivas with each other when they had one of their private kissing sessions. Astrid hummed at his delightful smell of charcoal and sweat, one of the odors that at this point, now constantly associated with his focused, determined face and lean body, made both sets of her lips begin to drool.

She whined irritably when as soon as she locked one arm around his neck to pull him closer, he broke the kiss. "Careful, Im really sweaty."

"I noticed," She muttered huskily, "And I don't care." She was about to mash her lips back into his, when her eyes caught something... large... down below... that made her beam back into his eyes in the most arousing way he had ever seen from her.

"I just realized I dont have anything to pay you with," she whispered into his ear.

He nibbled her neck, scoring a gentle whimper from her, and whispered back, "Thats okay. Consider those a gift. Besides, this right here is more than enough."

She gingerly pushed him away a bit, but kept him within her grasp, "I dont think so. Surely you must want something in return for such... craftmanship"

He squirmed a little at the question, "Well, if you insist... I uh..."

"Yes?" She encouraged with a coy grin.

"I... really liked what you were telling me yesterday, about my... size advantage..."

"You mean your third arm?"

"Yeah... that... could you..."

"Boost your ego? Hmm, I dont know... Your head is already pretty huge as it is."

He deflated. "Th-thats ok. Im sure I can think of someth..."

"But in comparison, your third arm really seems to be the thing you must actually think with."

His eyes widened, and he could feel his pants get even tighter. And Astrid, with where her eyes were looking right now, definitely noticed the creature react. Her eyes widened, "Oh, my. Youre getting off on this, arent you?" She knew he was. The teasing tone in her voice made that obvious.

And the way one of her hands had gone down to make gentle strokes along his hip made it obvious to him_she_ was interested in more than making out. He looked at her desperately, his erection beginning to strain in his pants, "Maybe a little?"

Her eyes came back to his, and that smile was just evil. "Oh really? What do you like about it?"

He was utterly toungue tied, distracted by the loss of blood to his lower brain, who was now fighting to break free from his pants, and the distracting maneuver of her hand, who was slowly getting closer to petting his beast. "I uh..."

She leaned in, ghosting a few kisses on his neck, "Go on, tell me."

He laughed weakly, "Right, because its so easy to think right now, Astrid..."

"Should we stop?"

He hesitated, "I really dont want to... but we are in the forge and we arent even engaged yet."

He was right. What they were doing now woulld already get them in a load of trouble. She sighed, disappointed, but then her face almost instantly rejuvenated. She took his hands and tugged him along into the back room. "Then its good we arent having sex. Just training."

He pondered that option for a moment, before nodding, "Training, huh? I guess I could work with that. If we stay quiet in here."

"Good," she said with a gloating smile, "Now, I bet you would be able to think better if you shed some layers, relieve some heat," she lifted up the hem of his shirt and let her nimble fingers begin loosing his belt, "lets start here." He reached down to help her, but her forearm gently tapped his hands away, "I got it," she told him, before getting down onto her knees to be level with her objective. Biting her lip eagerly, she grasped the hem of his pants on each side of his hips.

She hooked her thumbs in, and began to peel the damp fabric down his body, admiring the shine the skin of his hips gave off as more and more of it was revealed. Her prize was slowly unveiled, revealing him one inch at a time, the meat straining against its forced downward pointed position. Finally, his pants fell low enough, and the dragon sprang upward, surprising Astrid with a gentle slap to the chin. Hiccup quickly mumbled an apology, but she was not paying attention, instead giving an approving stare at his pride, now standing like a mast of a ship, perpendicular to his body.

Her eyes marveled over his massive arousal, standing out from his pelvis proudly at almost eight inches long, evolved from its flaccid six. The girth was even more impressive, rivaling her own upper arm. Even his gonads were huge, looking like they came right off an oxen. "Odin's beard, Hiccup," she muttered out loud, shocked that she had never noticed this before, despite all of their very heated encounters at each others houses, on the islands he discovered, the cove...

The very forge where she was currently admiring his huge tool...

"Uh... are you talking to me or my... third arm? Because my eyes are up here."

She smirked up at him, tracing her fingers along the skin of his shaft, "And where was_this_ all those times we made out?"

He shrugged, "Most of the time you were grinding against it."

That was definitely a possibility, considering she really enjoyed sitting in his lap while they kissed... even though her movements had made the term sitting way too innocent. "Well, you cant blame me for thinking this was your leg. Honestly, If this is what people call a mans second head, I'm surprised you dont have two personalities."

His short chuckle turned into a gasp as she gingerly wrapped one hand around its base, or at least what she could of it since it was literally so big she could barely grip past three fifths of the whole girth, even with her long fingers. What she could hold in one hand though, was throbbing and rock hard, the blood pulsing through the roping veins making it seem like a purring dragon.

He spoke up again, his voice audibly strained, "Oh, believe me, You have no idea how many times this guy tries to distract me when I'm around you."

Astrid feigned sympathy, "Aw. Poor thing is probably just lonely, wants some attention."

Hiccup groaned at her soft touch, and she smiled back up to him, grazing her hand up and down teasingly as if she were petting it. The way he was biting his lip, probably struggling not to lose his mind made her own heated moisture finally become annoying, considering how her panties were pretty much soaked.

"Looks like this dragon likes me. Guess that means I should train it. What do you think, Hiccup?"

"I uh... it does seem to like you... a lot..."

"But I dont know anything about this species. Do you think you could walk me through it? I bet youve got a lot of experience working with all this."

He whimpered, her teasing fingers making him impatiently buck into her hand, nearly hitting her in the face.

She laughed, grasping him tighter, "Whoa, down boy. Seems he really wants something from me..." Her cheeks were warm and blushing, the thrill of making him squirm and the possibility of them getting caught keeping her face smiling and her chest floating with butterflies, as excited as when she was winning a dragon race.

"Stroke it," He said desperately, "Please..."

"If thats what the dragon wants." She grinned victoriously, taking him with both hands and pumping them up and down, making the skin of his shaft drag against the rock hard inner muscle.

Hiccup moaned in response, leaning back and gripping the edge of a nearby table for support.

"Harder," he begged hoarsely, beginning to gyrate his hips to the rhythm of her working hands.

She obeyed, gripping him tightly and stroking faster, rotating her hands with her movements. A dribble of white fluid seeped from the slit at his tip, and his thrusts were becoming quicker and more desperate.

"Oh, gods, Astrid," he growled, nails biting into the table behind him. The heat of the forge was well forgotten, now blown out of the water by the current heat building up in his loins, getting dangerously close to that sweet, amazing point...

"Hey Hiccup, " she whispered, slowing her hands and drawing a pained whimper from him, "Do you think the dragon would like a kiss?"

His eyes widened, looking down at her in surprise, "Do... Do you mean..." There was no way she would want to do that. Her hands were one thing, but... he eyed those glorious pink lips, and the toungue that ran across them, and the pressure in his groin tightened. There is no way she would...

"Oh, yes. This dragon deserves a reward for being so obedient." She took her eyes off her writhing boyfriend, and laid them upon his length, eyeing the big, bulbous pink tip that was beginning to dribble a bit of pre like a drooling dragon. She wet her lips before curiously swiping her tongue across the top of it, licking up the small white cream in the process.

Meh. The flavor of him wasn't that bad. It wasn't good, but definitely not bad. Salty, mostly, and a tiny bit bitter. She could probably get used to it pretty quickly. The fact that it was Hiccup's only made her like it more, so that was a plus. The reaction from him, though, was what really got her going. A sharp gasp, followed by a weak grunt encouraged her to do more, this time dragging her tongue all the way around the tip and making him groan. She could definitely get used to this. Having this hot, sexy ass Hiccup squirming to her touch, at the mercy of her ministrations.

She stopped again, ending with that damned devious smile on her face. "Don't tell me you only meant one kiss," he pleaded.

"I don't know, Hiccup. You look like you're in pain. Should I stop?"

He huffed in irritation as she began to slow her hands, "If this is pain, then it turns out I really do love it." He shifted his hips a bit towards her face and begged, "Please, you were doing great..."

"Hm. Well, in that case, you're gonna love this." She tenderly kissed the tip, before ever so slowly working the fist sized bulb of meat between her lips and past her teeth, enveloping him into her mouth. She hummed in approval at his responsive snarl and needful thrust of his hips, gleefully taking the full head and a good extra inch into her mouth before being able to swallow against him.

Hiccup didn't dare release the table, for fear of his knees buckling beneath him or, Odin forbid, giving into his instincts and forcefully stuffing himself down Astrid's throat. His own hands had never before felt this amazing, so soft and teasing with each stroke. And her _mouth... _the way her tounge swirled around him in a teasing massage was just too much. It took less than several seconds for her to finally whisper, "Astrid... I'm close..."

His words invigorated her, and suddenly she at least doubled her already quick pace of one hand, placing the other on his waist for leverage. Her head began to bob up and down along the tip of his length, and that, along with the newly placed sucking she is did finally made him explode.

Like a volcano.

_"ASTRRRRRR..."_ His cry of her name is lost in a deep, sexy growl that struggles to be contained as the unbearable, ecstatic heat rushes down his shaft and through his loins, and he feels himself fill her inviting mouth with everything he has. He involuntarily grips her hair with one hand and his hips spasmed, bucking against her with wild abandon as his body trembled, the flood of release consumed him in a series of contortions

Astrid, on the other hand, was learning a lesson about underestimating the future chief. She had anticipated him to fill her mouth at most, but was unpleasantly surprised when almost as soon as the first copious squirt hit the back of her throat, the sheer volume of his thick jizz overflowed her lips, flowing down her chin and neck, nearly meeting the collar of her shirt. She struggled to contain it, gulping down mouthfuls of the stuff as each splurt overwhelmed her, oozing out and adding more goo to her face.

With one last clench of his loins, it was over, and deep, slow pants had replaced the lustful sounds he had been making. Astrid swallowed the last of his release in a loud, audible gulp before freeing his softening member with a pop and lick of her chin. She felt his fingers loosen from their tight grip on her hair, giggling at the sight of his sated face, eyes closed with a silly goofy smile.

He felt her kiss his shaft, before looking down at her to thank this awesome woman. His vision was a bit hazy at first, but when they finally registered her face, he could almost instantly feel blood returning to his member. Her beautiful face, happy and giddy, gently kissing his moist half erection, her chin and lips smeared with his white seed.

He only knew one word to sum all this up. "Wow..." He struggled with the rest, "That... where did you _learn that,_ Astrid?"

She stood up, brushing some hair from her face. "Well, lets just say your mom gives quality advice on training dragons," she said with a wry grin.

"That must have been awkward."

"At first it was. But I guess she's pretty enthusiastic about seeing us together." She ran a finger over her chin, wiping upba thick glob of white before popping it into her mouth. "Do you have any clean rags in here? You sorta cum like a living geyser."

Unable to move with his pants down and legs still shaking, he pointed to a small box across the room, which she took several rags from to clean her face. The next few moments were quiet,until he finally managed to express his gratitude. "I love you."

Wiping off the rest of the white goo, she looked back at him with a gentle smile, "I can tell. I dont think any guy can just blow a load that big from his own hands."

That had not been the response he had been hoping for, but nevertheless he grinned back at her before testing his legs to see if they were stable.

The next moment was unexpected. She walked up to him, gripping his shirt with one hand and his ass with the other before claiming his mouth. This was more tender than before, with less urgency and more loving assurance. He embraced it, gently placing a hand over her face. He could taste himself on her as their tounges danced for that precious minute.

When they separated, she kept him within her grasp, gazing into his eyes. "I love you too."

With that, she freed him, "It's getting late. I'll see you tomorrow, babe. Don't stay up too late, okay?"

With a nod of his head, still lost in the fog of his post orgasm, she left, leaving him to make himself decent before he readied himself to go home.

To the best sleep he had experienced in ages.

* * *

**Sorry I took so long. Writers block is a bitch, and I have been trying to work on my own stuff recently. I will keep this thing alive though, even if I put it into the cryo freezer. **


	7. A Wife's Love

**I'm sorry for not updating in so long, but this came to my mind while I had writers block and it put a gun to my head until it was written out. Next chapter to the first story is still in progress. This is just something I had to get out of my head.**

**An extension to the first story. More canonish, Hiccup and Astrid got married shortly after he became chief.**

* * *

I come home to her tired, I can feel a headache coming on from all the issues that have been brought up with rebuilding Berk.

I havent eaten since lunch, and the air in the house still smells like it probably did during dinner time.

I dont care. I allow Toothless to follow me in as I go up the stairs to bed and he finds a cozy spot next to Stormfly near the fire.

I walk into our room and see her, quietly sleeping in both her nightgown and a tunic of mine. She is impossibly beautiful, this goddess with her blond air strewn out of her braid and across the pillow her head is resting on. It only makes it more unbelievable with the ring she is wearing, glinting in the light of the half burned candle she must have left for me. This isnt my wife. This is a goddess.

As I change from my flying suit to my home clothing and put away my fire sword, she shifts and I notice the jiggle of her chest. She is clearly not wearing any breast band, probably nothing beneath the nightgown.

I cant help but stare for a good minute or so, tempted to touch her body in ways that would make any willing woman squirm. The fact that I know she would be willing and even encouraging makes me grow down below to half mast and strain against my pants

My headache throws me in the opposite direction, and instead I blow out the candle, remove my leg, set it against the nightstand and crawl under the sheets and into bed next to her. I scoot forward until I am spooning her gorgeous form and wrap my arm around her gently. I cant tell if she wakes up, but her form willfully melts into mine until she is leaning against me on her side. I find comfort very quickly, and with this blond beauty in my grasp, sleep finds me just as fast.

No dreams pass in my sleep, yet I wake with a throbbing morning wood, tenting my pants and firmly nudging her lower left buttock. Its early morning, the sun has yet to come out but a light blue can still be seen through the window. Times like these I'm glad my love and I need so much less sleep than everyone else.

She shifts against me at seemingly the perfect time, making me groan quietly as she grinds against my member. Apparently not quiet enough, she stretches, giggling softly before pressing her rear against my groin. I gasp, my erection desperately trying to rip my pants as she reaches behind her, grasping behind my thigh and working herself even harder against me.

I kiss her shoulder blade, her neck, before slowly nibbling at her earlobe and making her whine. I reach upward, teasing a pebbling nipple between my fingers before firmly groping it, and she moans my name ever so erotically. I snicker, teeth around her ear before working my tongue into it.

She always thought anything beyond the edge of her ear was weird, and she squeaks, laughing again before turning her head and letting her lips mold to mine. Her hand moves to the back of my head, fisting my hair and mine to her cheek, caressing it while our tounges dance, working together and against each other at the same time. As we kiss, she moves my wrist from her face with her other free hand and down lower, under the covers and to the hem of her nightgown. A needful whimper against my mouth is all the signal I need, and I let my fingers slide up her bare thighs and lift her nightgown before meeting her warm, wet heat.

I smile as I realize their is nothing blocking my hand. She does this so often for me, wearing no underwear to bed to speed past the stripping and get to the much better parts of the foreplay. Like when I grind her swollen and moist nub between my fingertips. Like how I'm doing now, making her tighten her grip on my arm and moan against my mouth. As I gently prod her soaking lower lips with my fingers, she breaks our kiss, leaving two strands of saliva between our mouths.

"No," she whispers, tugging at the waistband of my pants, "None of that tonight. No more working. I want to ride you like a dragon, babe."

Simple and straightforward, just as she often is. Yet always so giving of herself, always ready to be the good wife to her hard working husband and chief. Always ready to indulge me when I am tired and thinking that this village couldn't be any more like a bunch of foolish children. Always being amazing.

I lay back and let her straddle my thighs, before seeing her remove the tunic and nightgown and tossing it onto the side of the bed. She frees her elegant, soft form, and I admire everything, nearly drooling at the sight of her naked body. She is slender for a viking, and her muscles are not very pronounced, but when I touch her, they are strong and firm under her skin. Her breasts are so soft, filling my hands as I squeeze them delicately.

She leans down, kissing me chastly before pulling down my pants. I help with a shift of my hips, and soon the hem has nearly reached my knees, my erection standing like a flag pole. Her eyes are wide and impressed, her grin excited and encouraging.

She still can't seem to get over how big I am, and I dont blame her. I am at least as thick as her upper arm, even though she says Im bigger despite the fact we never really checked. I mean the head itself is roughly the size of her fist. She was once called a size queen by someone, I think Ruffnut. She shocked everyone with the retort that she would wear that title proudly as long as I was the only size reference.

She grasps my shaft and begins to stroke it firmly, and I groan. She goes out of her way to "boost my ego" with a few complimenting words and a lick of her lips, "Such a well trained dragon. Knows exactly when I feel like going for a ride on this big boy." Her words are incredibly enticing, and by the time she is dragging her wetness up my member towards the tip, I am so hard it almost hurts.

As her lower lips make a dragging kiss upwards, I can feel how wet she really is. She leaves a moist trail along my member, so wet droplets of it begin to slide across the skin. When her sopping wet entrance meets the head of my length, she holds it in place, knowing with my size it wont just slip in like a fish into a dragons throat.

She curses, beginning to work the blunt tip into her folds with her weight. It hurts her, I know from her grimacing face, and the way her loins are flexing trying to accomodate me. After many joinings, though, she describes it as a pleasurable pain, like a deep tissue massage or a good stretch before and after a workout, so I do not try to stop her.

I grunt as she takes in the head, placing my hands on her hips and urging her downward. Her grimace turns into a relishing smile that comes with a bite of her lower lip and a delighted hum as she enjoys the feeling of me stretching her out. She clenches my shirt, inching down a bit before rising back up and and back down again, refilling herself with a gutteral moan. Twice more she does this, each time taking in more of me than before and surrounding me further in her soft, incredibly tight warmth. Finally, she consumes my entire length, seating on my waist, and I feel her quiver around me when my tip reaches the end of her cavern and works against those deep spots that drive her to insanity despite how me pressuring her cervix is usually uncomfortable for her. She sits there for a moment, impaled by my massive arousal and gives me the most seductive look ever, cheeks blushed, eyes half lidded and her mouth in a relaxed, open smile. She has conquered my dragon, yet again, and she sits with it deep inside her, the visible bulge and the feeling of being stuffed like trophies that were both hard won and well reclaimed.

Many, many times.

I squirm, desperate for more, and she leans forward with a eager grin, placing her hands down on my chest for support. I know this angle well, and prepare to be well ridden by this blond vixen.

She starts with a slow rhythm, knowing that with each movement I grind against everything, stretching each crevice, and thus her first climax will come easily and strongly from how long it has been. Sure enough, her movements become fast and erratic and her moans desperate within less than a minute. With a sharp cry of my name, she cums. Her walls undulate and tremble around me and a rush of fluid flows down my shaft as she rides me through the fullest extent of her release, before finally seating herself back onto my waist, panting and giggling. She never does last long between orgasms, but overall... Well, she is willing to let me take her for as long as I can last. Which can be a very long time.

She begins to move again in the midst of her post orgasmic bliss, whimpering at the increased sensitivity. I pull her down to me and kiss her, but eager to do her job, she sits back up at that hard riding angle and works back into a rhythm of her hips. Its much faster and more aggressive now, and those lewd, squishing noises and clapping of skin against skin can be heard from between us.

The early morning goes onward, our sounds and voices of passion echoing throughout the house. The number of releases she achieves is lost, but my shaft glistens like water in the moonlight and the lewd squishing becomes more of a wet sloshing, so we both know it was many.

Soon I gasp her name, and the urgent bucking of my hips is a clear signal to her that her objective is in reach. She grins wickedly and her motions become quick trying to draw it out of me. The timing is excellent, and she releases barely a moment before I do, our thrusts meeting each other with vigorous fervor. I snarl her name deeply, nails biting into her hips, inner muscles clenching and I erupt like a geyser, pumping out my thick semen into the depths of her welcoming velvet. She cooes as I unload inside her, enjoying the feeling of each massive, warm, and forceful squirt against her sore insides. Her orgasm subsides first, but she doesn't stop, instead keeping the same pace and milking me to give the biggest load she can get and the longest orgasm I can recieve. I give her every ounce of my cum I have, shuddering as the pleasure of her working my orgasm overwhelms me until I collapse back against the bed, spent of all energy.

Both our minds are hazy in the afterglow, and my vision is blurry for a few moments before I finally see the goddess sitting atop me, holding a fully sated smile on her face.

That expression I know too well. Its the umistakable expression of sexual satisfaction, of victory and happiness. Sexual satisfaction from the amazing serving of orgasms, victory of giving her husband a mind blowing orgasm in return and taking his massive load as a trophy, and the happiness of getting to share the afterglow with him and only him.

She remains there for a minute or so, before rolling onto her side next to me, and the next few minutes are routine. She cleans herself with one of the washcloths we keep under the bed, then, true to her word, she cleans me to keep me from doing any more work. Finally she sets the cum soaked rag onto the nightstand, and makes herself comfortable using my chest as a pillow. I can't help but thank her, for this wonderful service she has done for me, and she sees that I mean much more than the sex.

Her next words nearly make me cry, "To think I got to fall in love with the most amazing guy ever."

To her, I am amazing in every sense of the word. She trusts me, with everything she holds dear, and I her. She is beyond what I could ever have thought to have. She loves me as both a friend, husband and lover, and is beyond what I ever could have expected to have to myself.

Having and being with this woman, Astrid Haddock, is my new official definition of luck.

**For future reference, I cant answer your questions If you ask as a guest. Beyond the first story, there will be other one shots like this and some other stories, focusing on Astrid and Hiccup. Mostly. I might toss in a Stoic x Valka one shot and something with Valka and an OC of mine. Might get Toothless laid too.**


	8. Hiccup's Problem

Astrid quivered in silent delight, holding back her sounds of pleasure as the smooth, stone tool worked her insides. It had only been a day since her pleasant first meeting with Hiccup's third arm (not including the prank war), and the memory of him at her mercy, throbbing and bucking into her hands and mouth, whimpering her name, begging her to free the tension of his loins...

_"Hiccup,"_ she managed the quiet whimper, thrusting her hips against the stone as she slid it between her legs vigorously. Her body contorted with the rush of ecstasy, trembling as a soft squirt of fluid was felt against her hand.

Needless to say, she was very riled up from their_training session_. Astrid hadn't gotten her fair share of the pleasure, and was a bit irritated by that, but the training tools took care of the problem for now at least. They helped her ease the fire inside her much faster than her hands, and the sleep she had achieved that night had been much better.

Slumping back against her pillow, she remembered the sheer size of her boyfriend's endowment. The stone tool she was currently using was only three fingers wide, and she thought that was noticeably large. He was as thick as her upper arm. She would need to step up her game with these tools if she would ever be able to fit that monster inside her. And that would mean getting him to make something bigger for her, because the biggest tool she had was only a bit thicker than he was flaccid.

But that could wait for tomorrow. She cleaned herself up with the rags on her nightstand once again, as well as her new toy, before returning them to their respective places. She ended the night with a happy sigh, turning over and finally submitting to a deep, restful sleep.

The next day had begun much better than the paranoid day she had experienced. She had even gobbled down seconds during breakfast, even though it might make her sleepy later. All seemed great, until she had recieved the air mail from Valka.

_Astrid, I think something is wrong with Hiccup. Please come talk to him when you have time. Preferably soon, though._

_-Valka_

Screw everybody else. Her chores could wait. She followed his mother's intuition, showing up barely a few minutes after dressing herself and feeding Stormfly.

Seeking more info on Hiccup's issue, she knocked on the front door instead of jumping through the roof like she usually did. She heard several whispers and some rustling before Valka answered the door.

"Astrid," she panted, "I... hadn't expected you to get here so quickly." To Astrid, it seemed pretty clear what she had been doing. A flustered face, tousled hair, that stray pair of panties visible on the table a few feet into the house...

She stammered, "I uh.. if you want, I can go to Hiccup through the roof. I just wanted to ask what I should expect."

Valka leaned into the frame of the door and sighed, "Hes been quiet all day and yesterday. I think he's stressed, but I don't know why. He never left the forge yesterday. Not even to eat. He hasn't gotten up today, either."

That certainly didn't sound like her Hiccup. Without a second thought, Astrid thanked her, and ran upstairs to see what was up with her boyfriend.

Valka shut the door, and limped back to the dining table. She quickly felt a large hand slide between her left arm and torso, firmly kneading her breast. She moaned softly, carefully trying to keep her voice down. Another hand grasped her thigh, and she suddenly was wedged between the table and a large, burly figure, with a massive potrusion meeting her rear.

She felt thick hair of a beard tickle her neck and a tounge graze her ear. A deep voice whispered to her, "Now, where were we?"

She whimpered, bending herself over the table, "Well, I was about to show you again that I'm still fluent in_Tragonese_."

The deep voice chuckled, "Indeed you were." Her pants were quickly around her spread ankles, and large hands hoisted held her hips up easily until she was just barely standing on her toes. She gasped as she felt a massive bulb of flesh tease her dripping wet heat.

"Tell me what you want, Valka."

She bit her lip, bracing herself on the table, "I want you to drain that big tragon inside me. Please..."

"Granted." And with that, she yelped, gripping the edge of the table as the chief stuffed her like a Snoggletog goose.

Astrid knocked urgently on Hiccup's door, desperate to try and get away from the sounds of the creaking and whimpering downstairs, though she couldn't help but snicker at the clever "draining the tragon" phrase. No answer came, so she assumed he was still asleep. She opened the door as quietly as she could, peeking her head inside, and spotting him in his wooden chair, the side of his face resting on a page in a book. The candles held on the wall were fully burnt out, having gone too long for one night.

Astrid rolled her eyes. Typical Hiccup, always going beyond the norm for a project and doing crazy things, or in this case just foolish things, like spending so long working he passes out. She let herself in, closing the door behind her and letting the room block out most of the sounds of the chief and his wife downstairs.

The first thing she did in the stuffy room was open one of his window panels to get some fresh air in. After that, she looked around the room briefly, looking at the many papers he had pinned to the walls, before she eyed the sleeping boy. He looked so peaceful asleep, and she hated to wake him, but the way he was sleeping he was bound to drool over his book, and she knew that would make him panic.

She placed her hands on his shoulders, gently nudging him, "Hiccup."

He mumbled something incoherent, and she resisted the urge to smack him in the back. She tried one more time, leaning in closer and whispering into his ear before recieving a double slap surprise.

Over his shoulder she saw what was on the left page of the book he was snoozing on. On it was a the umistakable depiction of the female genetalia, with various lines pointing to the parts of it. Then she heard him say it...

"Astrrrid," he moaned quietly, still fast asleep.

Astrid felt butterflies twitch in her stomach as her cheeks began burning. At first she didn't know how to react. She had just learned he was studying female anatomy. Assuming "studying" could be the proper word. And now he was dreaming about her... and judging from that sultry voice of his... she rubbed her thighs together as an uncomfortable warmth began bubbling between her legs.

Great. Now she would have to take time out of her day to fix that herself, with Hiccup incapacitated. Huffing in irritation, she struggled to pick him up, finally managing to toss the thankfully slender man over her shoulder and haul him to his bed. He weighed more than he looked, nearly making her throw her back out while carrying him, but it is a successful mission, and soon he is splayed across his bed like he had too many drinks.

She suddenly realizes she should have moved the covers first, because now he's on top of them and she isn't willing to try again. The fact that Hiccup was on the covers was fine. It was the very visible bulge in his pants that bugged her, coupled with another slur of her name, followed with a "so tight" that made her consider waking him up to fix the problem he made of her loins. Her vivid fantasies flashed in her mind, and she tried desperately to ignore the growing dampness of her panties.

The very suggestive sounds downstairs were not helping. They were loud enough to be audible, and each creaking sound, every wanton cry and moan from the two lovers was just adding tension to her lower belly.

She sat down in Hiccup's chair, before the many drawings, trying to focus her attention toward them and away from her ache for Hiccup. She looked down at the anatomy book, closed it to prevent further distractions, and moved it to the side. Her eyes went wide at what she saw next.

Son of a bitch... There, in plain sight, were two pictures that were undeniably her, as naked as the day she was born. In the most erotic poses she had ever seen. She had never expected a picture of herself to look this majestic, so beautiful, and yet so damned provocative.

Was this what he saw when he looked at her? Or was this his imagination exaggerating what was real? It looked accurate... the breast size was smaller than what she really had, but her overall slender feminine figure was spot on. She never thought she could see herself as a daughter of Freyja, as Hiccup had called her quite a few times in the past. But looking at this picture brought herself a whole new perspective of her own beauty.

A sudden moan from Hiccup shot the thought across her mind that made her loins begin drooling.

Does he jerk off to these?

He had to draw them for some reason... and what better reason to do it than to help himself with his... _tragon problems_? It's not like a bovine can be expected to just hold all that libido in...

The image of two nights ago, returned to her head. Hiccup, hot, sweaty, pants down and his huge meat in her hands as he squirmed in pleasure finally threw her self control out the window. Everyone in the house was engaging in something sexual except Astrid, and it pissed her off that her Hiccup was one of them. The chief and his wife had been fucking like bunnies since Valka returned, and her boyfriend was probably dreaming about destroying her pussy and... draining that tragon of his inside her.

Hm. She was surprised she never used that phrase before.

Regardless, she couldn't wait to get home or go to the woods to take care of herself. She needed a good orgasm. _Now_.


	9. Astrid's Adjectives

**Another One shot, because I hatched it randomly and had to feed it to prevent it from eating me alive.**

**After a decade of marriage to Hiccup and their first two kids, Astrid reminisces on what their sex life has been like so far. She gets a bit detailed.**

* * *

Sex with Hiccup was... good. Really, really _REALLY _good.

Oh fuck it, who was she kidding? After a full decade, "good" would be an insult if she used that to describe her_sex god _of a husband. She would need a list of adjectives to describe what sex was like with him...

_**Repetitive. **_ In a good way. No matter how many times he ruthlessly destroyed her vagina with that gargantuan knob of his, they would always come back to each other for more. And when they did, it was like their first time all over again, except with less pain. She'd toss truthful comments on how deliciously big and fat he was, and though he didn't say it every time, most of the time he'd make a retort about how its like she was a virgin all over again.

Astrid. A virgin. The thought made her giggle. After these past years, she was certainly no whore, but with all the sex she had been having, the last thing she'd consider herself as was a virgin.

Virgin tight, now that's a different story. Just ask Hiccup.

**_Loud._** Thankfully, their new home wasn't as cooped together with the other village houses as most were. The sounds of their lovemaking could rouse hibernating bears, especially her own. Alone in her room, before their marriage, Astrid was quiet, trying to achieve sweet release while avoiding waking her parents. Hiccup had made her squeal with those hands and his tounge, and as for the sex itself, it had unleashed her inner screamer. People approaching the house would know if they should wait on knocking or not just by the desperate cries of each other's names, along with other various obscene phrases. Thankfully, their two sons didn't mind much, as long as they toned it down a bit at night. They embraced the idea of their parents loving each other so much, the noise actually seemed to help them sleep.

One thing is for sure, they were heavy sleepers.

_**Filling. **_Put simply, he was huge. He crammed himself into every nook and cranny of her insides, stretched her out perfectly every time, worked her innards like molten metal and made her feel like it too. When he exploded, and boy did he explode, she could literally feel it, the sheer force of each thick squirt against her insides before it overflowed her. It was a wonderful sensation after being wrecked by him. Getting stuffed and cream filled by her husband was one of the best parts of her day.

_**Addictive. **_Yes, it had become a habit to enjoy an orgasm with her husband. Yes, she got less... docile when she had to go more than a few days without doing it. Yes, sexual thoughts about him were on her mind very often. Yes, some things she enjoyed doing were skipped out on for sex, like axe throwing or flying. Yes, their children did get less attention because of it. Were they addicted to each other? Most people in the village would say yes. But she got her chores done, still had fun doing other things, still gave plenty of attention to their kids, and still tended to the emotional needs of her husband, not just the physical ones, so surely it couldn't be that bad of a habit. Besides, a good round of sex, even a quickie, was better than even the finest meade or the most potent dragon nip ever.

_**Clarifying. **_ Sex always seemed to make things better, at least between the two of them, especially with clearing their heads. Sex calmed angry arguments and relieved stressful tension from the day. Their sons could recall how most of their yelling, angry disputes ended quietly at first, followed by suggestive moans and sounds of lips smacking together. Afterward, they would usually zone it out as creaking began upstairs. Sex helped bring out emotions they were bottling up. When she was first pregnant, Astrid was desperately frightened, especially with the new types of herbs she had been given by some odd newcomer to the village who claimed to be a dead tribe's chief. She had unleashed her emotions after the lovemaking, literally crying into his shoulder. Sex helped decay sadness, of all the horrible memories they had. Whether they were weeping before or just feeling down, sex cheered them up. Always. It reminded them of their blessings of each other, their amazing children, their attractive appearances, rank in society, and most of all, their amazing sex life. Sex helped grant them inspiration, especially for her Hiccup, who had many times sketched something into his booklet after filling Astrid to the brim with his seed. Astrid would watch, her head resting against his shoulder as he drew, making random drawings of her own on his abdomen with a finger.

_**Enlightening. **_ Not just for each other, but for others. They became the go-to couple when people needed advice on sex. Over time, they began to embrace that role in the village, especially Astrid, who gave people anatomy info or pointers on herbs, lotions and other things to help newbie couples get mind blowing results. Needless to say, when their eldest son found the love of his life, he had her singing in Tragonese easily.

_**Arousing. **_The endless teasing they would do to each other when they were busy drew memories of their many unions to their minds. When Hiccup would sneak a grope of her thigh or rear from behind, it reminded her how he could lift her skirt, force her pants down and rut her against the wall of any building he wished, as long as they could get a sliver of privacy. When she idly ran her hand along his bulge in the hall, it reminded him of the many times they had snuck in there and he would have her on her laying on her back on any one of the tables, furiously pounding at her nethers as she gripped the edges of it, holding on for dear life. They couldn't recall all of the times they had done it, it was just too often. However, it didn't matter because they were almost always ready to make new memories.

**_Oversatisfying. _**Yes, but this was by far an understatement and oversimplification. Some women were "satisfied" with their sex life, some "more than satisfied," but that didn't cut it for Astrid. She would use the words overindulged or spoiled. It was like getting to gorge on the sweetest ambrosia in the world with her bare hands, any time she wanted.

But even that paled in comparison to what she experienced. The teasing was first, usually at least, her senses drawn out with his miracle fingers to be ready and exposed for a full serving of sweet bliss. Then was the delicious burn of him stretching her, like of potent meade, accompanied by the delightful stuffed feeling and the sensation of tight friction. For her, it was always a quick flame to the final explosions. White hot esctasy pulsed through her loins first, coursing up her back and down her legs, rippling in waves and making her cry out to the stars while her whole body would be overwhelmed in a rush of hot, convulsing, squirting pleasure... then to recieve that again, and again, and AGAIN, until her insides were raw, muscles sore, skin slick with sweat and her lower regions soaked in her fluids... then shed get a soothing blast of his thick seed as he reached his own peak, like a reward for granting him the same bliss... then letting that happen all over again, this time with his potent load being sloshed about inside her, making her feel like a butter churn.

Yeah... something like this would definitely explain how some women became nymphomaniacs.

**_Tiring. _**Well, yeah. Who wouldn't be tired after such heated, vigorous activity? And she didn't even need to get that into it to have her cheeks flushed, oh, but when she did, she'd be panting like a bitch in heat, skin made pink all the way around her neck and sweat dampening her hair and skin. Sometime she would stay above the covers for a minute after the thorough exercises, trying to cool off because the room would feel like a stuffy furnace. With all the dragon riding she did now instead of walking, she had to make up for the unburned calories... and Hiccup made a great "work out" buddy.

_**Relaxing.**_ People began to notice how both she and Hiccup seemed more cheerful during the day, when sex became a regular thing between them. Astrid especially noticed how her sleep was more restful. With all the sex they had, they got less sleep, yet they often woke in the morning well rested and ready for the day. His hands were amazing at working away knots in her shoulders and back, as well as unfurling the coil in her loins, and his pelvic sourcery (and huge staff) always ended up turning her to jelly. That, accompanied with the feeling of Hiccup laying beside her afterward, always put her to sleep. And almost every time, she would get a deep, flawless slumber.

Unless Hiccup would wake her up later for another round. Which tended to happen rather often.

_**Empowering. **_ It was quite impressive the things she made him do with her own body. A simple reveal of skin or proper sway of her hips as she walked would lure his eyes to her like that of a predator. A few soft gropes in the right places would wake the tragon, making it swell eagerly to meet her. The way he would grip her tightly as she whispered into his ear of all the vulgar things she wanted to do to him, and how her kisses made him growl back at her was so invigorating. The raging excitement of pleasure when she had him deep inside her, making him squirm and buck like a tied down bovine desperate for sweet release... the feeling of victory when she finally would make him come undone within her (or on her) with a hoarse snarl and shudder, rewarding her with a thick, gooey prize... the way he'd curl around her after a long night, whether after sex or not, finding refuge in her company and loving embrace...

And best of all, how he would always come back for more under her spell.

_**Humbling.** _She hated how she loved the things he could do to her, and that they brought her to her knees ... how she would unconciously make lingering stares at his body as he worked at the forge for a little too long, nearly drooling at the sight of him, both from her mouth and loins... that his loving embraces made her melt, and the erotic ones made fire on her skin... that simple suggestive touches made her whimper and tremble... how his fingers could shatter her mind like the hammer of Thor... that his dick was freaking supernatural with the way it just mashed and grinded against every pleasurable center in her core while nearly splitting her in two every time... how the orgasms he gave her felt like flying to and from Valhalla in a constant cycle... how she felt proud to become a mess with his white seed splattered all over her and in her like someone dumped paint on her... how she was completely willing to take gallon upon gallon of his semen if it meant he could feel release... how she loved when he impregnated her with each of their gorgeous children, and still continued to take the time to fuck her brains out... how he was so completely awesome as a husband, friend, and lover, that she actually stooped to Snotlout's level and bragged about him...

It made her feel small in the world she lived in, knowing a person amazing enough to be her rival layed in bed with her almost every night... and got to be in her almost every day as well.

* * *

**So... Astrid is a bit of a nympho of a wife. Anyway, I will continue on the next chapter of the actual story now that this is done.**

**ON A DIFFERENT NOTE, if anyone has some decent adjectives Astrid could add to her list, please PM or review and i may do another installment of this. And remember, I cant respond if its a guest review.**


	10. Lustful Snoozing

**Sorry I take so long... but Ive ctually been practicing my drawing, I want to turn this into rule 34 fanart. Anatomy and proportions= biggest bitch team ever**

* * *

Astrid bit her lip as she let her body come to terms with her decision. Gods, this was so embarrassing, sitting in Hiccup's room, barely a few feet from the moaning, sleeping boy, with his parents audibly rutting downstairs...

It was also _so damn hot_...

And he was _right freaking there._..

And he never returned the favor from their little night at the forge, but had been _studying for it for Thor knows how long_...

She found her fingers lured to the beckoning call of her needful, throbbing heat, loosening the belt buckle of her skirt. She peered over at Hiccup, who was still splayed out on his bed, dead asleep but his tragon still fully awake, visibly straining his pants.

She circled one peaking nipple through her shirt and bindings, imagining it literally ripping through and springing forward for her like an obedient dragon from a cage, standing proudly as if it knew just how big of a creature it really was. Swallowing the drool forming in her mouth, she let her other hand slip into the waistband of her trousers, then into her panties, and that was when she realized just how horny she really was. The amount of warm moisture between her legs was already so great it was like she had already cum sitting in his chair. She cursed inwardly, wishing she had brought an extra rag, before sighing and working her fingers deeper toward her nethers, past smooth, hairless skin between her legs.

She wondered how he would react to seeing her fully nude for the first time. She had been upset at first when she gained almost no body hair throughout puberty, and it made her feel like an immature little girl. But then she had heard most men like it that way, and then all she could think of was how Hiccup's forgeworking fingertips would feel on such bare flesh...

A weak whimper escaped her as her fingertips brushed over the swollen nub at the apex of her inner heat, making herself squirm a little as she gently rolled it between her thumb and the side of her index finger. Images flashed through her mind of her hand wearing a golden ring on one finger. Another hand reached around her, batting her busy hand away and replacing it with its own thicker digits, gently tracing her throbbing clit.

Astrid muttered his name in a deep, quiet exhale, only to nearly jump in surprise by the actual Hiccup from across the room, who was apparently still very active in his dreams, "you like that, hmm?"

She absently continued to stroke herself, her eyes lingering on him for a moment, observing the the way he licked his lips in a manner that should have been illegal... before allowing her daydream to return.

The thicker, calloused digits of one hand grinded against her hardened nub while the other began to firmly work the roundness of her breast through her shirt. She bit her lip at the pressure on her peaking nipple.

_Hot breaths were exhaled onto her neck, followed by a soft nip of teeth and then a provocative whisper, "You should know by now this is my job."_

Astrid's cheeks were burning up, like the heated center of her loins as the fingers worked her towards the sweet precipice of release. Two slowly curled into her, dipping in with short, quick movements, making Astrid bite her lip as she felt the edge of the horizon coming. A third finger soon added to the girth, and her back arched with the approaching bliss seemingly at arms reach.

Memories of the night in the forge washed back into mind, of his thick meat in her hands as she serviced the future chief with her mouth. Oh, the_sounds_ he had made... the sounds _she had made him_ make... the lewdness of the sounds she was making as her head bobbed along his tip, sucking and finally gulping down his seed, thick like fine pudding and salty like melted yak butter.

_Just a little more_... she thought, persistently working herself in an impatient path to satisfy her needy organs. But she seemed to find herself stuck, just on the edge of release. Her soaking wet hand moved furiously, audible slick slapping noises coming from her pelvis as she tried to take that final step, but it never came.

She was there. Right there on the top of the cliff, but she couldn't fall. She looked down at her loins, frustrated. It was getting what it wanted, why wouldn't her stupid lustful body just get this over with and...

"Astrid?" Hiccup's voice was very clear now, not slurred and tired, but questioning and investigational. She looked up to see him, his wide awake and surprised eyes staring right into hers.

And right then, the wall of the dam she held up shattered, and she came. Hard.

* * *

\- **Author humbily requests critique. Sorry for the delay. Would like suggestions on where to go for the next chapters. I am considering having Hiccup go down on Astrid. Or her riding his face...**


	11. Afterglow

**Nope, Im not dead yet. I will likely take all the oneshots I have here and move them to a different story, or take the actual story and move that. Idk. Time will tell.**

* * *

The thick odor of sex permeates the room, as the young wife takes deep, relaxing breaths in the warmth of the afterglow. Despite the harsh cold of the snowstorm outside, their vigorous activity had kept them warm, and even made the room itself feel quite heated as well. At this momemnt, she is absolutely, completely happy. Nothing could make her more satisfied with how her life currently is. Astrid giggles, the pleasant soreness and shaking of her her legs begging her to rest.

Her blond hair laced with sweat was splayed out around her head, a dark gold halo on the furs of their marital bed. Under the thick glaze created from many merged ropes of potent cum, one could see an angelic face of post coital bliss. One half lidded eye revealed a pupil dilated from pleasure, while the other remained closed, semen caked across its lashes. Her smile is placid and satisfied, her lips, cheeks, and chin slathered in a mixture of saliva and white cream.

Her husband's marks continue to run down her body in messy white streaks, over her flushed neck and chest, not a single inch spared by the blasts of his spunk. The gooey seed trails beyond her navel, between her trembling, spread thighs, where the prime evidence of a thorough fucking sits.

Her flower, the crown holding the gems of her pleasure center, is absolutely pulverized. The once small slit has been reamed into a wide, gaping hole from the intense pounding of a very thick cock. The labia, both inner and outer, are swollen and loose from the vast stretching, and her muscles twitch with clenching movements as her loins try to regain their original composure. The tunnel is hidden by the batter that had erupted into her at the mouth of her womb, filling her well past the point of flooding and now pouring out of her like a butter churn was tipped over. With each quivering contraction, large globs are encouraged out of her, assisted by gravity, yet still her malleable cunny still shows a full cream filling. What manages to flow out of the white lathered pink tunnel dribbles down the groove of her ass in messy rivulets, and joins the puddle of excess fluids under her crotch. What mixture of their joined fluids that isn't oozing down her smears her loins completely, painting over it and the white skin around it.

The long road of buttery splatter finally ends halfway down her inner thighs, ultimately proving that even her husband Hiccup is only human.

She feels a slight shift next to her, and the next thing she sees is her husband, on his knees between her legs, lining his fully erect third arm against her semen soaked, wrecked lips. As he slides himself back in and leans over her, she gasps, toes curling with the sensation of him beginning to work her pleasure points once more. As he slowly begins to continue pounding her like metal at his forge, she questions whether he is human after all.


	12. UPDATE

**Hey, everybody. So as I can imagine, The Misadventures are a bit confusing, what with one shots and story mixed together randomly as I dish them out. So, I will be removing the story from the misadventures, and placing them in its own tale called A Big Step To Take. Check out my profile later for that.**

**Also, I will be finally deleting the original misadventures. So save that if you might want to read (or fap to) it in the future.**


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